I really like advertisements. Well, "like" may be too strong of a word considering I go into an indescribable rage when adblock isn't on. But I do spend a decent amount of my time watching 70s/80s/90s commercial compilations, subjecting myself to infomercials, and seeking out various kinds of print advertisements. So clearly I'm getting something out of this. This page is for me to complain, poke fun at, or otherwise show off ads and commercials.
Most of the content on this page is linked from tumblr or youtube - please let me know if you see something busted.
Looks Like a Pump, Feels Like a Sneaker...
A short entry for now - I'd like to make more of these, rather than be perpetually stuck in "well I don't have enough to say about this one, really..."
So today I have the "Easy Spirit Color Playoffs Basketball Commercial" apparently from 1991.
I don't remember where I found this one, but it was definitely linked somewhere. For whatever reason - the jingle? The promise that these pumps have the comfort and perhaps, stability (as shown by the women playing basketball) of a sneaker? I just think basketball shorts and pumps is kind of a look? Who knows, really.
The gold metallics are somewhat intriguing as well.
The Divine Time Clock
This is the ad that made me consider creating this page in the first place. I came across it like I do every other infomercial, through youtube suggestions on an account I made just for ad viewing. I figured it was going to be a weird christian thing, but it went way beyond my expectations.
The goddamned thing quotes bible verses at you.
My favorite aspect of this is the actual voice it talks to you in. It's so deeply offputting. It sounds like every other "voice of god" in weird christian media I've been exposed to, where it's so clearly just some guy they edited to sound more deep and authoritative.
what the fuck was th- of of course. my clock :)
The woman craning her neck to look at the divine time gets me every single time.
There's a few other moments in the video where the clock shares one of its "most inspiring phrases known to man," that I think are worth noting. At 1:06, it gives morning greetings. At 1:19, the clock is shown to help with "sorrow, loneliness and even depression" with a quote. It even helps end a couple's argument by reminding them that love is patient at 1:31.
All the shots of people sitting around and enjoying the Divine Time Clock really make this a winner of an ad, but to top the whole thing off the clock itself is horribly dated and cheap looking. I swear to god I saw clocks just like this in my grandma's house when the whole tuscan thing was popular. At least you can understand why it looks so much like a halloween decoration: the price point is a standard infomercial $19.99 (plus shipping and handling, of course)
Every day I hope one of these pops up second hand so I can welcome it into my home.